Mantithesis #8: It takes a real man to embrace insignificance.
Many people have spent a great deal of time and effort bemoaning the "softness" of today's adolescents. So many adults claim to have led incredibly difficult lives growing up, and attribute their ability to thrive now on harsh childhood experiences, and parents that didn't coddle them. These people complain about modern day kids who play sports in which everyone gets a trophy, are allowed to go around any school discipline with an angry call from mommy, and are told over and over again how special they are. I have no comments on parenting styles, since I have no children, but I do think it would be wise to consider the trend for everyone to be told how special they are.
In Christian circles, we often teach children how God made them special, and there's no one in the world quite like them. We tell children that Jesus died on the cross for them, and even if no one else ever followed Jesus, he still would have given up his life for that one child. It would be pointless to debate the theological soundness of that argument, since Jesus had all the foreknowledge needed to affirm that millions of others besides little Madison would benefit from his sacrifice. However, I do think we need to be careful with the concept that we are special, important even. As men, we often feel that the success of something rests squarely on our shoulders; that if we weren't around, that deal wouldn't be made, or the case wouldn't be won. For the world's definition of masculinity, it's important to have the firm belief that you are important, and your job, family, community, and church would be in trouble without you.
Feeling that you are important is dangerous for the Christian man. Having an underlying belief that you are the only thing holding something together completely ignores God's sovereignty. When you think everything depends on you, you only go to God when you get in over your head, and the fact that you are absolutely unnecessary is true in every area of your life. For example, let's consider the family you lead. In your home, you bring home the pay check, protect the house, and kill all the bugs. Without you, surely your wife and kids would be lost, right? Even in the family, in which the Bible preaches the importance of strong male leadership, you are not necessary for survival. If for some reason you are taken completely out of the picture, for families that trust in the Lord and lean not on their own understanding, God has a way of filing in the gaps if you disappear. This doesn't negate your responsibility to lead and provide for your family, but points out that if for some reason you are rendered incapable of doing so, God doesn't need you. The truth is, God's plan is accomplished by Him, and we have the honor of taking part.
Consider the creation story with Adam. God creates this universe, and then assigns Adam the job of naming all the animals. There is no way God was like, "Hey Adam, I am swamped with like a million other things right now. I could really use some help naming all these animals. You up for it?" The naming of the animals was the first time God delegated out a task He was completely capable of doing on His own. The Bible is filled with stories where men and women are given jobs from God, not because He needed the help, but because He wanted man to share in His work. If Adam hadn't agreed to take part in this task, do you think the animals would still be nameless today? Either God would create a new guy to do the job, or do it Himself. But Adam would have missed out on the incredible opportunity to play a small role in the story God was creating.
The same is true of us. God doesn't need us to provide for our families, teach that Sunday School class, or lead that co-worker to Christ. I know that most of you understand that in a logical sense, but the truth of that statement hasn't burned into your soul. You aren't needed. You aren't important. You aren't the only one in the world who can do what you do. If you reject or ignore the task that God is allowing you to do, God will drop someone else in that role in a heartbeat, and you would be the one missing out.
All this is not to demean you, or say God doesn't love you individually. The Bible is clear in Isaiah that we are written on His hand. He is infinitely capable of personally relating to every single one of His children in a unique and powerful way. However, you need to drop the complex that leads you to believe the world would crumble without you. This will remove a great deal of stress, and allow you to enjoy the jobs that God deems fit to share with you. Taking care of your family is a privilege and an honor. Sharing the Gospel with a co-worker is a "get to" opportunity, not a "have to" one. And using your time, talents, and treasures to expand the kingdom is not a requirement, but it gives you a genuine purpose for breathing air on this planet. You are not important, but God loves you anyway, and being a man is not about carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, but about humbly serving the God who allows you to take part in His story.
