BFF

Mantithesis #1: Best Friends Forever are not just for girls

Recently Justin Timberlake enjoyed a week long stint as a guest on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Throughout the week, it was apparent that the two genuinely liked each other, and their friendship was evident. As I watched these men create hysterical skits and display an outrageous amount of talent, I couldn't help but be jealous of them. At first I had trouble discerning of whom I was most jealous; Jimmy for getting to have fun with JT, or Justin for having the incredible opportunity of playing along with Jimmy, one of the funniest men on television today. Although I love my life, it would be hard to turn down an offer to be one of these men for the rest of my time on earth. Here we have two high caliber stars, with an incredible amount of talent, and they got to spend an entire week together just having fun in front of a studio audience. Through it all, I could see that they were genuinely close friends, and I like to think that they share a close bond. For some reason I fantasized about the text messages they may send back and forth; nothing serious, but just a funny thought, or an idea for a skit. I'd like to believe that they share thoughts and feelings with each other, encouraging each one in the various endeavors he may be taking on in the entertainment business.

For many, the concept of grown men being best friends is the antithesis of manhood. Over the decades, Hollywood has done an incredible job of glamorizing the strong, brave, independent hero. In the past half century, this has been most notably displayed in the James Bond series. Here we have a guy who doesn't show an ounce of vulnerability, and is rewarded with driving awesome cars, wearing outstanding formal wear, and garnering the attention of any lady who has the gift of eye sight. Any man with a drop of testosterone in his veins would envy at least part of the James Bond persona. The problem is, this reveals the pervasive attitude that if a man has a close friend with whom he shares life, he is weak, or dependent. I think that men who follow Christ have the unique opportunity to flip this outdated formula for masculinity on its head.

The Bible is full of bromance; Jesus was the ultimate BFF for 12....er...11 men in particular. But aside from our Savior, there were countless other tight bonds between men depicted in the Bible, most notably David and Jonathan. Jonathan's dad was King Saul who, because he was an idiot, disobeyed God and completely lost His favor. David was anointed as the next King of Israel, and Saul straight up lost his mind, going on a rampage against David, chasing him across the country much like Wile E. Coyote and the road runner. David was always a step ahead because God was in His favor, and Saul rapidly digressed into a mental case. However, through all this, Jonathan and David were extremely close, even though Jonathan risked death himself at the hands of his father in order to remain loyal to David. 

There has been a great deal of emphasis on "Biblical Manhood" in recent years, but I think almost everyone overlooks the intense need men have for a significant same gender friendship. Some of the most encouraging times of my life have been with Christian guys, speaking truth and wisdom to me, and ending a conversation by hugging it out. Our culture deems these relationships as feminine, but I argue that the antithesis of manhood is being a loner. If true men are brave, then courage is most obviously displayed in the man who shares his life openly with a brother.